Organizations characterized by a high degree of trust are often the
most successful. Trust is a big deal in workplaces. If I only had a dime
for every time someone said, “I don’t trust so and so” in my coaching
work!
The word trust means many different things, depending on whom you
ask. In my management training, I ask participants to write down 10
words that equate to what trust means to them. I typically get more than
100 different responses. Answers range from integrity, confidence,
moral values and predictability to being able to count on someone.
When it comes to high-performing teams, I equate trust to someone’s
willingness to be open, exposed and “vulnerable.” No matter the
definition, one thing everyone agrees on — trust must be earned and it’s
much harder to earn than it is to lose.
Developing and maintaining trust is critical to success in your
career, workplace teams, leadership and business. Trust is the
foundation for all things good in workplaces.
I coach clients to think of having a personal “trust” account with
others, like a bank account that you can either make deposits into or
withdrawals out of with your actions. Every action you take with your
customers, team, peers, boss and/or direct reports is either a deposit
into the trust account — or a withdrawal. Choose your actions wisely
because one action can bankrupt the trust account. I have seen careers
derail due to a single incident that resulted in an overdraft.
How do you gain and keep trust? Sadly, I have no magic bullet to
offer. But one thing I do know — it comes down to how you “behave” with
others. Here are a few of my tips:
— Do what you say you will do. This seems so simple, but it’s a trust
tripwire. Commit to what you say you will deliver carefully. Know your
limitations, priorities and available resources. Others can and will
hold you responsible for what you fail to deliver or follow up on.
— Track your commitments (particularly leaders who are often making
commitments all day long) with a system like a small pocket notebook or
your smartphone. One of the easiest ways to lose trust (and yes,
potentially bankrupt the trust account) is to promise and then
under-deliver.
— Be authentic. If you are a politician at work, don’t think you are
fooling the crowd. Humans have amazing radar for assessing fakers,
pretenders and those with hidden agendas. I hear it frequently in my
private coaching sessions. Those with no affect (stone-faced and hard to
read) are suspect. So are people whose nonverbal responses do not match
their words. You can’t always put your finger on it; there is just
something that doesn’t add up. Trying to fake or hide how you are
feeling and what you are thinking or wanting is a recipe for decreased
trust.
— Be clear and concise when communicating, and that includes email. A
good mantra: Communicate to be understood. Recently, I had the
unfortunate experience of talking with a very smart professional leader
who spoke in riddles. I needed a guide to follow it. I found myself
asking question after question for clarification. His staff are
understandably having a difficult time following. There are
misunderstandings everywhere. It’s because he fails to deliver the
message in a way the other can grasp and understand. Pay attention to
your audience — are they with you? If you are doing all the talking, see
the next tip.
— Listen well. We tend to trust people who have taken the time to
understand and acknowledge our perspective. Dialogue with others rather
than being in constant “tell” or “lecture” mode. If you are formulating
your next debate point in your head when someone is speaking, you aren’t
listening. Let curiosity lead you. Work on paraphrasing (you’ll pay
closer attention if you know you have to summarize their words) and ask
clarifying questions. Communication is a two-way street.
— Avoid water-cooler gossip. Gossiping can be a hard habit to break
but it’s a trust trap. Trust is always at risk when backstabbing occurs
in workplaces (even when it’s directed at someone else). Also, you might
be surprised how emails tend to travel blindly behind one’s back. I’ve
seen all too many of these trust and career bombs.
— Credit others. As a coach, I am often privy to hearing what clients
“really think.” One thing I have learned along the way is
self-promoters are at the bottom of the trust food chain.
— Transparency. The news is filled with non-examples of this. Being
lied to or misled is usually an “unrecoverable” in the trust account.
— Be impeccable with your word. I’m a fan of Ratan Tata and “The Four
Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom.” Honesty and
integrity are deposits into the trust account
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